Mothering to the Extreme- I share your Anxiety

When her challenging, cancer-ridden mother suffers a psychotic break, Jane Demuth searches for the wherewithal to help the person who once demanded the most of her.

via This Is to Mother You: On Caring for a Toxic Parent in Her Greatest Time of Need — Longreads Blog

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Begonias in her hair

End of the work week, and things are winding down. Everyone around my office is smiling, shoulders are relaxed, and  conversations are flowing. It’s Friday. So in my elated moment of non-influenced happiness, the begonias lifting their petals to my chin, begging to accompany me to my office even if only for an hour prior to my departure. I know when I come in Monday, the petals having found their way to my desk, the H2O sustenance will have evaporated, and the beauty will have started to fade. Not fade as in disappear, but fade in the way that Marilyn Monroe’s beauty would have faded should she still grace this planet. All of this sits well with me. The left behind begonias still sitting on their stems firmly rooted in the ground will not miss these two, and if they would, they can deal. The hour of happiness this brings me just may be more important to me than the tears of the other begonias that will inevitably fall to the ground.

Enjoy your Friday. And remember, to feel.

-kalijo

Fallen stress petals

Life. In all it’s beauty, newly found treasures and the still unknown depths of this earth, one thing stands true. Life will go on. Stress and fallen petals will pop us and fall every day. My challenge is learning to deal, cope, reconnect with my inner peace that I discovered only a awhile ago. Capturing these moments, innocent life forms within this planet not affected by the day to day stressors we people do, that is my meditation, my yoga, my drug. Breathe, this too shall pass. There are so many paths that I can take here, I can yell, be pissy for no exact known reason, cry, run away.. but no. I will pick up my camera, and just go. Just go until the weeds are above my knees and the crickets dance off my toes. No roads, no human contact, just a field, and a flower.

So what happens when I can’t get to that happy place… well, today happens.

 

 

Life is about the little things

Even in the darkest of nights, the twinkle of the stars are bright. Even if you can’t see them from your current location, or situation. Someone wise once told me, “Life is short. Do you want to be remembered for all of the things you wanted to do, or all the things you did?” I take that to heart, as everyday, I try to live every moment to the fullest. Documenting through photographs, words, feelings, even sounds. Every sense I possess is in this game of life.. and I will prevail.